Neurofeedback therapy

3 Signs You Have an Avoidant Attachment Style

When it comes to relationships, everyone has their own individual attachment style. While many individuals have an attachment style that is mostly healthy and normal, an avoidant attachment style can lead to feelings of loneliness and not having your needs met. This type of attachment style is characterized by a desire to distance oneself from others and a fear of intimacy.

Understanding the signs of an avoidant attachment style can help you identify and address any issues you may be having in your relationships. In this post, we’ll explore 3 signs that you may have an avoidant attachment style, as well as how it contrasts with an anxious attachment style.

1) Your romantic relationships tend to be short-lived.

While it is important to take context into consideration for short-lived relationships, such as the age of the individual and lifestyle factors that may be detrimental to maintaining a long relationship, short-lived relationships that frequently end on your terms may be a sign of an avoidant attachment style.

Attachment styles are shaped by early experiences and can affect our current relationships. Attachment therapy is a type of counseling that helps people to explore the impact of their early attachment experiences on their present day relationships.

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you may find it difficult to trust people and establish lasting relationships. You may also find yourself withdrawing from intimacy and instead focus on maintaining your independence. This can leave you feeling anxious in relationships and not knowing why.

Attachment therapy helps people to learn how to regulate their emotions and feelings of distress in relationships. Depending on your specific attachment style, therapy for anxious attachment and therapy for avoidant attachment both help people to become more attuned to their own feelings and needs and to the feelings and needs of those around them. Through counseling for attachment work, you can begin to understand why you may be anxious in relationships, identify ways to build healthier connections with others, and learn how to better cope with stress in the future.

2) You find it difficult to trust people.

When it comes to understanding attachment styles in therapy, one sign of an avoidant attachment style is difficulty in trusting others. People with an avoidant attachment style can find it difficult to open up to new people, relying on themselves rather than seeking support from others. This lack of trust can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, or even a fear of vulnerability.

In order to work through this difficulty in trusting people, counseling for attachment work can be helpful. Attachment therapy in Denver can help individuals learn to manage their feelings, become more secure in relationships, and be more willing to open up to others. For those with an anxious attachment style, therapy for anxious attachment can also help reduce fears of abandonment and increase self-confidence. No matter which type of attachment style you have, therapy can provide an invaluable resource in understanding why you may feel anxious in relationships and how to build healthier relationships.

3) You often feel like you don’t need anyone.

If you feel like you don’t need anyone in your life, this could be a sign that you have an avoidant attachment style. People with an avoidant attachment style often have difficulty trusting others, where their nervous systems believe that being close to someone may mean they will feel controlled, suffocated or unable to live out their individual. This type of attachment style can make it difficult for someone to maintain close relationships, as they feel like they can do things on their own and don’t need anyone else’s help or support.

Attachment therapy can help people who identify with an avoidant attachment style learn how to create and maintain meaningful connections with others. Therapy for avoidant attachment can also help those with an avoidant attachment style develop better understanding of themselves and learn to trust others. Counseling for attachment work will help the individual understand why they are anxious in relationships, and how to develop healthier relationships.

How to Cope with An Avoidant Attachment Style

If you have an avoidant attachment style, it can be difficult to cope and find healthy ways of forming relationships. While attachment styles are developed at a young age and generally designed to help protect you from unhealthy relationships, as an adult, coping with this can be difficult and cause more harm than good.

Fortunately, there are many forms of therapy that can help you manage your anxiety and create healthy relationships. Neurofeedback in Denver is one form of therapy that can help you understand your attachment style through a qEEG Brain Map and then train your brain to let go of those patterns through a neurofeedback program.

Attachment therapy is a type of counseling that focuses on exploring attachment issues and their underlying causes. It can help you learn how to regulate your emotions, gain insight into why you have difficulty trusting others, and build secure and meaningful connections with those around you. Connected Brain Counseling’s licensed team of therapists specializes in attachment work in therapy.

Therapy for avoidant attachment can help you gain insight into why you feel it is important to stay distant in relationships. Through this process, you can identify and work through the root causes of your attachment issues, such as past traumatic experiences or even unmet needs from childhood. Counseling for attachment work can also help you better understand yourself and your relationship with those around you. It can help you explore the ways in which your anxious or avoidant behaviors are impacting your relationships and guide you towards healthier ways of connecting with others.

Attachment Therapy with Connected Brain Counseling

Learning to cope with an avoidant attachment style can be challenging, but it is possible. Research shows that attachment styles change over time. Attachment therapy can help you understand why you feel and behave the way you do in relationships. Counseling for attachment work can provide you with the tools and insight necessary to address your underlying issues and build healthier relationships.

Through counseling, you can learn to trust yourself and others. You will also develop healthier communication skills and self-care techniques. Taking the time to learn more about yourself and why you are anxious in relationships can be a powerful step towards healing your attachment style. Call Connected Brain Counseling today for a to see if counseling for attachment work is a good fit for you.

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Pauly Munn, MA, LPC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician; EMDR-Trained (PhD Candidate)

Pauly is a Colorado native who received his MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Regis University, and is a current doctoral candidate for a PhD in Clinical Psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. Pauly is an empathetic counselor who believes in a compassionate, yet direct approach to therapy. Pauly believes his clients are the experts of their experience. Through a collaborative lens, clients who work with Pauly are able to gain meaningful insight into their experience which in-turn provides the essential resources for navigating change and/or healing emotional wounds. Pauly utilizes an integrated trauma-informed lens blended with evidence-based modalities including ACT, CBT, EFT, and more. Pauly specializes in working with adult individuals and couples, with several years of experience working directly with a broad range of presenting challenges including relationship challenges, PTSD & complex trauma, substance use disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more. More importantly, Pauly believes in building a safe space in which each and every one of his clients feels seen & heard. Pauly identifies as a Latino-American, and is passionate about conducting therapy utilizing a social justice & diversity-informed lens. Pauly has a strong background working with multicultural identities, and believes in the importance of recognizing our unique differences. Pauly loves staying active through basketball, tennis, volleyball, hiking, dancing, strength training, and more. Additionally, Pauly spends time actively engaging in ongoing research projects in trauma, social justice, and neuropsychology.

Pauly's Specialties

Brianna Herrera, MA, LPCC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician

Brianna believes in a holistic approach to counseling, integrating mind, body, and spirit in her work with clients. She strives to help clients weave the various aspects of their lives together through a collaborative approach, meeting her clients where they’re at and partnering with them to create lasting change and a greater sense of wholeness in their lives. Brianna seeks to create a grounding and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences with freedom and authenticity. She embraces a variety of evidence-based treatment modalities to best meet her clients’ specific needs and goals, such as trauma-informed CBT, DBT, mindfulness-based techniques, solution-focused therapy, emotion-focused therapy, and humanistic approaches. In her work with couples, Brianna focuses on helping partners improve communication, strengthen their emotional connection, and navigate challenges such as conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and life transitions. She believes that life-giving, functioning relationships are foundational to a person’s sense of well-being. Brianna is certified in facilitating both SYMBIS and Prepare-Enrich couples counseling sessions. In her free time, she can often be found adventuring outside with her husband and pup, hosting a game night, or enjoying time with community.

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Sydney Focht, MA, LPC

Clinical Director & Counselor

I specialize in working with women in their 20s to 50s who struggle with self-worth, self-esteem, and the guilt that often comes with prioritizing themselves. Finding self-trust and the ability to feel worthy of happiness are common topics in my work. My clients tend to put off therapy because they downplay their struggles, describing their pain as ‘not that big of a deal.’ Many of them grew up in households where expressing emotions wasn’t encouraged and they are still looking for security now. My goal is to create a space where you feel completely free to be yourself—no pressure, no expectations. Therapy with me isn’t about either of us being ‘perfect’—it’s more about you feeling safe, seen, and supported as you figure things out in a way that works for you. I prioritize meaningful conversations that get to the heart of the issue, getting to the root and out of surface level conversation quickly. Going through my own therapy has given me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in the client’s seat, and it’s made me even more passionate about helping others find the support that truly works for them. My clients describe me as focused, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and down-to-earth. I truly love what I do and that comes through in my work! I’m a person-centered therapist, but I often integrate elements of Motivational Interviewing, CBT, and IFS.

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Cassandra Keller, MA, LPCC

Neurofeedback Clinician & Counselor (EMDR-Trained)

I support adults and teens (15+) who are ready to find relief from trauma, anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck in life, career, or identity transitions. Using a compassionate, trauma-informed, and integrative approach, I help clients reconnect with themselves and move toward balance and resilience. I’m EMDR-trained and draw from person-centered, gestalt, DBT, and somatic practices. Whether we’re working with the nervous system, processing painful memories, or exploring patterns with curiosity, my goal is to create a safe, collaborative space where you feel supported, present, and empowered to grow. I especially enjoy working with athletes, creative people, students, and outdoor adventurers who value resilience, beauty, and balance. Alongside therapy and grounding practices, I also offer neurofeedback as another powerful pathway for nervous system regulation and healing. Outside the office, you’ll often find me climbing, fly fishing, running trails, foraging, or relaxing in the grass under the aspens. My love for movement, play, and nature continually inspires how I show up with clients.

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