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  • Couples Counseling

Navigating Conflict in Relationships: Strategies for Couples

Understanding the Nature of Conflict

Conflict in relationships can be distressing, but it’s important to recognize that it can also be an opportunity for growth. When managed constructively, conflict can help couples learn more about each other’s needs, foster intimacy, and improve communication. Understanding that conflict is a natural part of any relationship can help reduce anxiety and fear surrounding disagreements.

Common Causes of Conflict

Several factors can contribute to conflicts in relationships:

  • Different Communication Styles: Partners may have different ways of expressing themselves, leading to misunderstandings. One partner may prefer direct communication, while the other may be more indirect.
  • Unmet Expectations: When one partner feels their needs or expectations are not being met, it can lead to frustration and conflict.
  • Stress and External Pressures: External stressors, such as work or family issues, can spill over into the relationship, causing tension and conflict.
  • Differences in Values or Beliefs: Conflicts can arise from differing values or beliefs, particularly regarding important issues such as finances, parenting, or lifestyle choices.

Strategies for Navigating Conflict

Here are several strategies couples can use to navigate conflict more effectively:

1. Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand

During a conflict, it’s essential to stay focused on the specific issue being discussed. Avoid bringing up past grievances or unrelated topics, as this can escalate the conflict and make resolution more challenging.

2. Take a Timeout if Needed

If emotions run high, take a timeout to cool off before continuing the discussion. This break can provide both partners with the space needed to process their feelings and return to the conversation with a clearer mindset.

3. Use Problem-Solving Techniques

Approach conflicts with a problem-solving mindset. Instead of viewing the conflict as a battle to win, frame it as a shared problem to solve together. This perspective encourages collaboration and fosters a sense of teamwork.

4. Respect Each Other’s Perspectives

Recognize that each partner’s feelings and perspectives are valid, even if they differ. Listening actively and trying to understand your partner’s viewpoint can create a more respectful dialogue.

5. Practice Empathy

Empathy involves understanding and sharing your partner’s feelings. Try to put yourself in their shoes and validate their emotions. This practice can help foster connection and reduce defensiveness during conflicts.

6. Set Ground Rules for Conflict Resolution

Establishing ground rules for discussions during conflicts can help create a safe and respectful environment. Rules might include no name-calling, taking turns speaking, and agreeing to pause if the conversation becomes too heated.

7. Seek Professional Help

If conflicts become frequent or intense, it may be beneficial to seek couples therapy. A trained therapist can help couples develop effective conflict resolution skills and improve communication.

Conflict in Relationships
The Gottman Institute – The Science of Conflict Resolution

American Psychological Association – Managing Conflict in Relationships

Psychology Today – How to Handle Conflict in Relationships

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but how couples handle it can make all the difference. By focusing on the issue at hand, practicing empathy, and using problem-solving techniques, couples can navigate conflicts in a way that strengthens their relationship.

At Connected Brain Counseling, we specialize in helping couples develop healthier conflict resolution strategies. Contact us today for a free consultation and take the first step toward a more harmonious relationship.

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Pauly Munn, MA, LPC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician; EMDR-Trained (PhD Candidate)

Pauly is a Colorado native who received his MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Regis University, and is a current doctoral candidate for a PhD in Clinical Psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. Pauly is an empathetic counselor who believes in a compassionate, yet direct approach to therapy. Pauly believes his clients are the experts of their experience. Through a collaborative lens, clients who work with Pauly are able to gain meaningful insight into their experience which in-turn provides the essential resources for navigating change and/or healing emotional wounds. Pauly utilizes an integrated trauma-informed lens blended with evidence-based modalities including ACT, CBT, EFT, and more. Pauly specializes in working with adult individuals and couples, with several years of experience working directly with a broad range of presenting challenges including relationship challenges, PTSD & complex trauma, substance use disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more. More importantly, Pauly believes in building a safe space in which each and every one of his clients feels seen & heard. Pauly identifies as a Latino-American, and is passionate about conducting therapy utilizing a social justice & diversity-informed lens. Pauly has a strong background working with multicultural identities, and believes in the importance of recognizing our unique differences. Pauly loves staying active through basketball, tennis, volleyball, hiking, dancing, strength training, and more. Additionally, Pauly spends time actively engaging in ongoing research projects in trauma, social justice, and neuropsychology.

Pauly's Specialties

  • Depression
  • Complex Trauma
  • Couples Counseling
  • EMDR Trained
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Brianna Herrera, MA, LPCC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician

Brianna believes in a holistic approach to counseling, integrating mind, body, and spirit in her work with clients. She strives to help clients weave the various aspects of their lives together through a collaborative approach, meeting her clients where they’re at and partnering with them to create lasting change and a greater sense of wholeness in their lives. Brianna seeks to create a grounding and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences with freedom and authenticity. She embraces a variety of evidence-based treatment modalities to best meet her clients’ specific needs and goals, such as trauma-informed CBT, DBT, mindfulness-based techniques, solution-focused therapy, emotion-focused therapy, and humanistic approaches. In her work with couples, Brianna focuses on helping partners improve communication, strengthen their emotional connection, and navigate challenges such as conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and life transitions. She believes that life-giving, functioning relationships are foundational to a person’s sense of well-being. Brianna is certified in facilitating both SYMBIS and Prepare-Enrich couples counseling sessions. In her free time, she can often be found adventuring outside with her husband and pup, hosting a game night, or enjoying time with community.

Brianna's Specialties

  • Couples + Dating Therapy
  • Pre/Postpartum
  • Anxiety
  • Women's Issues
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Sydney Focht, MA, LPC

Clinical Director & Counselor

I specialize in working with women in their 20s to 50s who struggle with self-worth, self-esteem, and the guilt that often comes with prioritizing themselves. Finding self-trust and the ability to feel worthy of happiness are common topics in my work. My clients tend to put off therapy because they downplay their struggles, describing their pain as ‘not that big of a deal.’ Many of them grew up in households where expressing emotions wasn’t encouraged and they are still looking for security now. My goal is to create a space where you feel completely free to be yourself—no pressure, no expectations. Therapy with me isn’t about either of us being ‘perfect’—it’s more about you feeling safe, seen, and supported as you figure things out in a way that works for you. I prioritize meaningful conversations that get to the heart of the issue, getting to the root and out of surface level conversation quickly. Going through my own therapy has given me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in the client’s seat, and it’s made me even more passionate about helping others find the support that truly works for them. My clients describe me as focused, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and down-to-earth. I truly love what I do and that comes through in my work! I’m a person-centered therapist, but I often integrate elements of Motivational Interviewing, CBT, and IFS.

Sydney's Specialties

  • Perfectionism
  • Eating Disorders
  • Grief/Loss
  • Women's Issues
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Cassandra Keller, MA, LPCC

Neurofeedback Clinician & Counselor (EMDR-Trained)

I support adults and teens (15+) who are ready to find relief from trauma, anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck in life, career, or identity transitions. Using a compassionate, trauma-informed, and integrative approach, I help clients reconnect with themselves and move toward balance and resilience. I’m EMDR-trained and draw from person-centered, gestalt, DBT, and somatic practices. Whether we’re working with the nervous system, processing painful memories, or exploring patterns with curiosity, my goal is to create a safe, collaborative space where you feel supported, present, and empowered to grow. I especially enjoy working with athletes, creative people, students, and outdoor adventurers who value resilience, beauty, and balance. Alongside therapy and grounding practices, I also offer neurofeedback as another powerful pathway for nervous system regulation and healing. Outside the office, you’ll often find me climbing, fly fishing, running trails, foraging, or relaxing in the grass under the aspens. My love for movement, play, and nature continually inspires how I show up with clients.

Cassandra's Specialties

  • Trauma and Developmental Trauma
  • Nervous System Regulation
  • Anxiety
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