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  • Couples Counseling

6 Second Kiss Rule

What is the 6 Second Kiss Rule?

The 6 Second Kiss Rule is a simple practice where couples make a conscious effort to kiss for at least six seconds every day. This rule was popularized by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, who emphasized the importance of small, intentional acts of intimacy in maintaining a healthy relationship. The idea is that by taking just a few extra seconds to connect with your partner through a kiss, you can strengthen your bond and foster a deeper emotional connection.

Why Six Seconds?

You might wonder why six seconds is the magic number. According to Dr. Gottman, six seconds is long enough to create a moment of connection and intimacy, but short enough to be easily incorporated into your daily routine. It’s not just a quick peck on the lips; it’s a deliberate, mindful kiss that allows you to pause and reconnect with your partner. This brief moment can help remind you of the love and affection you share, even amidst the demands of daily life.

Benefits of the 6 Second Kiss Rule

Incorporating the 6 Second Kiss Rule into your relationship can have several positive effects, including:

  1. Enhances Emotional Connection A six-second kiss provides an opportunity to connect emotionally with your partner. This simple act can help you feel closer and more in tune with each other, reinforcing the emotional bond that is the foundation of a strong relationship.
  2. Reduces Stress Kissing releases oxytocin, a hormone known for its stress-relieving and mood-boosting properties. By taking a few moments each day to kiss your partner, you can reduce stress and improve your overall well-being. This can be especially beneficial during stressful times, helping you and your partner to stay calm and connected.
  3. Improves Relationship Satisfaction Regularly practicing the 6 Second Kiss Rule can lead to greater relationship satisfaction. It helps keep the romance alive and serves as a reminder of the love and affection you have for each other. Couples who make time for small acts of intimacy like this often report feeling more satisfied and fulfilled in their relationships.
  4. Fosters Physical Intimacy Physical intimacy is a key component of a healthy relationship. The 6 Second Kiss Rule encourages regular physical contact, which can help maintain and even increase physical intimacy over time. It’s a simple way to keep the spark alive and ensure that you and your partner continue to feel attracted to and connected with each other.
  5. Builds a Habit of Connection By committing to the 6 Second Kiss Rule, you’re creating a habit of connection. Over time, this small daily practice can lead to a stronger, more resilient relationship. It reinforces the idea that your relationship is a priority and that even in the midst of busy schedules, you can find time to connect with your partner.

How to Implement the 6 Second Kiss Rule

Incorporating the 6 Second Kiss Rule into your daily routine is easy. Here are a few tips to help you get started:

  1. Make It a Daily Ritual Choose a time each day to practice the 6 Second Kiss Rule. Whether it’s when you wake up, before you leave for work, or before going to bed, make it a consistent part of your routine.
  2. Be Present When you kiss, be fully present in the moment. Put aside any distractions and focus on your partner. This will help deepen the emotional connection and make the kiss more meaningful.
  3. Communicate with Your Partner Talk to your partner about the 6 Second Kiss Rule and why you want to incorporate it into your relationship. Encourage them to join you in making this a daily habit, and discuss how it can benefit your relationship.
  4. Start Small If six seconds feels too long at first, start with a shorter kiss and gradually work your way up to six seconds. The key is to make the kiss intentional and meaningful, regardless of the length.
  5. Enjoy the Moment Don’t rush the kiss. Enjoy the moment and use it as an opportunity to connect with your partner. Let the kiss be a reminder of the love and affection you share.

The 6 Second Kiss Rule is a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your relationship. By taking just six seconds each day to share a meaningful kiss with your partner, you can enhance your emotional connection, reduce stress, and improve your overall relationship satisfaction. If you’re looking for more ways to build a stronger, healthier relationship, consider reaching out to Connected Brain Counseling for professional support and guidance.

  1. “The Power of the Six-Second Kiss,” The Gottman Institute. This article explores the concept of the 6 Second Kiss Rule and its benefits for couples.
  2. “Why You Should Kiss for Six Seconds Every Day,” Psychology Today. This piece discusses the psychological and emotional benefits of the 6 Second Kiss Rule.
  3. “How Kissing Can Improve Your Relationship,” Verywell Mind. Verywell Mind highlights the importance of kissing and other small acts of intimacy in maintaining a healthy relationship.

If you want to learn more about strengthening your relationship, contact Connected Brain Counseling for a free consultation. Our expert counselors are here to help you build a stronger, more connected partnership.

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Pauly Munn, MA, LPC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician; EMDR-Trained (PhD Candidate)

Pauly is a Colorado native who received his MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Regis University, and is a current doctoral candidate for a PhD in Clinical Psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. Pauly is an empathetic counselor who believes in a compassionate, yet direct approach to therapy. Pauly believes his clients are the experts of their experience. Through a collaborative lens, clients who work with Pauly are able to gain meaningful insight into their experience which in-turn provides the essential resources for navigating change and/or healing emotional wounds. Pauly utilizes an integrated trauma-informed lens blended with evidence-based modalities including ACT, CBT, EFT, and more. Pauly specializes in working with adult individuals and couples, with several years of experience working directly with a broad range of presenting challenges including relationship challenges, PTSD & complex trauma, substance use disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more. More importantly, Pauly believes in building a safe space in which each and every one of his clients feels seen & heard. Pauly identifies as a Latino-American, and is passionate about conducting therapy utilizing a social justice & diversity-informed lens. Pauly has a strong background working with multicultural identities, and believes in the importance of recognizing our unique differences. Pauly loves staying active through basketball, tennis, volleyball, hiking, dancing, strength training, and more. Additionally, Pauly spends time actively engaging in ongoing research projects in trauma, social justice, and neuropsychology.

Pauly's Specialties

  • Depression
  • Complex Trauma
  • Couples Counseling
  • EMDR Trained
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Brianna Herrera, MA, LPCC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician

Brianna believes in a holistic approach to counseling, integrating mind, body, and spirit in her work with clients. She strives to help clients weave the various aspects of their lives together through a collaborative approach, meeting her clients where they’re at and partnering with them to create lasting change and a greater sense of wholeness in their lives. Brianna seeks to create a grounding and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences with freedom and authenticity. She embraces a variety of evidence-based treatment modalities to best meet her clients’ specific needs and goals, such as trauma-informed CBT, DBT, mindfulness-based techniques, solution-focused therapy, emotion-focused therapy, and humanistic approaches. In her work with couples, Brianna focuses on helping partners improve communication, strengthen their emotional connection, and navigate challenges such as conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and life transitions. She believes that life-giving, functioning relationships are foundational to a person’s sense of well-being. Brianna is certified in facilitating both SYMBIS and Prepare-Enrich couples counseling sessions. In her free time, she can often be found adventuring outside with her husband and pup, hosting a game night, or enjoying time with community.

Brianna's Specialties

  • Couples + Dating Therapy
  • Pre/Postpartum
  • Anxiety
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Sydney Focht, MA, LPC

Clinical Director & Counselor

I specialize in working with women in their 20s to 50s who struggle with self-worth, self-esteem, and the guilt that often comes with prioritizing themselves. Finding self-trust and the ability to feel worthy of happiness are common topics in my work. My clients tend to put off therapy because they downplay their struggles, describing their pain as ‘not that big of a deal.’ Many of them grew up in households where expressing emotions wasn’t encouraged and they are still looking for security now. My goal is to create a space where you feel completely free to be yourself—no pressure, no expectations. Therapy with me isn’t about either of us being ‘perfect’—it’s more about you feeling safe, seen, and supported as you figure things out in a way that works for you. I prioritize meaningful conversations that get to the heart of the issue, getting to the root and out of surface level conversation quickly. Going through my own therapy has given me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in the client’s seat, and it’s made me even more passionate about helping others find the support that truly works for them. My clients describe me as focused, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and down-to-earth. I truly love what I do and that comes through in my work! I’m a person-centered therapist, but I often integrate elements of Motivational Interviewing, CBT, and IFS.

Sydney's Specialties

  • Perfectionism
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  • Women's Issues
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Cassandra Keller, MA, LPCC

Neurofeedback Clinician & Counselor (EMDR-Trained)

I support adults and teens (15+) who are ready to find relief from trauma, anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck in life, career, or identity transitions. Using a compassionate, trauma-informed, and integrative approach, I help clients reconnect with themselves and move toward balance and resilience. I’m EMDR-trained and draw from person-centered, gestalt, DBT, and somatic practices. Whether we’re working with the nervous system, processing painful memories, or exploring patterns with curiosity, my goal is to create a safe, collaborative space where you feel supported, present, and empowered to grow. I especially enjoy working with athletes, creative people, students, and outdoor adventurers who value resilience, beauty, and balance. Alongside therapy and grounding practices, I also offer neurofeedback as another powerful pathway for nervous system regulation and healing. Outside the office, you’ll often find me climbing, fly fishing, running trails, foraging, or relaxing in the grass under the aspens. My love for movement, play, and nature continually inspires how I show up with clients.

Cassandra's Specialties

  • Trauma and Developmental Trauma
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