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Boundaries for Friends with Benefits

Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships can be exciting and fulfilling when both parties are clear about their expectations and boundaries. Setting and respecting boundaries is essential to ensure that the relationship remains positive and doesn’t lead to emotional distress.

Why Boundaries in FWB Relationships

  1. Preventing Misunderstandings
    Clear boundaries help avoid confusion about the nature of the relationship, ensuring that both parties are on the same page.
  2. Protecting Emotional Well-Being
    Boundaries help manage emotional attachment and prevent feelings of jealousy, resentment, or hurt.
  3. Maintaining Mutual Respect
    Respecting each other’s boundaries fosters trust and ensures that the relationship remains respectful and consensual.

Key Boundaries to Consider

  1. Communication
    Establish open and honest communication from the start. Discuss your expectations, desires, and limits to avoid misunderstandings.
  2. Emotional Involvement
    Be clear about the level of emotional involvement allowed. Decide together if falling in love is off-limits or if emotional attachment is acceptable.
  3. Exclusivity
    Define whether the relationship is exclusive or if both parties are free to see other people. This helps avoid jealousy and potential conflicts.
  4. Frequency of Interaction
    Set boundaries on how often you’ll see each other. Regular interaction can lead to deeper feelings, so it’s important to agree on what feels comfortable.
  5. Public and Social Interaction
    Decide how you’ll interact in social settings. Will you attend events together or keep the relationship private? Setting these boundaries helps avoid awkward situations.
  6. Ending the Relationship
    Discuss how the relationship will end if one or both parties no longer want to continue. Agreeing on a way to part amicably helps prevent hurt feelings.

Respecting Boundaries

  1. Consistent Communication
    Regularly check in with each other to ensure that the boundaries are still being respected and that both parties are comfortable.
  2. Mutual Respect
    Always respect the boundaries set by your partner. Pushing or disregarding them can lead to hurt feelings and damage the relationship.
  3. Flexibility
    Understand that boundaries may need to be adjusted over time as feelings and circumstances change. Be open to revisiting and renegotiating boundaries as needed.
  4. Emotional Honesty
    Be honest about your feelings. If you start developing deeper emotions, communicate them to avoid misunderstandings and potential harm.

Boundaries are the foundation of a healthy friends with benefits relationship. They help prevent misunderstandings, protect emotional well-being, and maintain mutual respect. By setting clear boundaries and respecting them, you can enjoy a fulfilling and positive FWB relationship. If you’re struggling to set or maintain boundaries in your FWB relationship, contact Connected Brain Counseling for a free consultation. Our therapists are here to help you navigate these challenges and maintain healthy relationships.

“Setting Boundaries in Friends with Benefits Relationships,” Psychology Today. This article provides insights into the importance of boundaries in FWB relationships. Learn more at Psychology Today.

“Friends with Benefits: How to Set and Respect Boundaries,” Verywell Mind. Verywell Mind explores strategies for establishing and maintaining boundaries in FWB relationships. Explore more at Verywell Mind.

If you need guidance on setting boundaries in your friends with benefits relationship, reach out to Connected Brain Counseling for a free consultation. Our therapists are here to support you in maintaining healthy and respectful relationships.

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Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician; EMDR-Trained (PhD Candidate)

Pauly is a Colorado native who received his MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Regis University, and is a current doctoral candidate for a PhD in Clinical Psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. Pauly is an empathetic counselor who believes in a compassionate, yet direct approach to therapy. Pauly believes his clients are the experts of their experience. Through a collaborative lens, clients who work with Pauly are able to gain meaningful insight into their experience which in-turn provides the essential resources for navigating change and/or healing emotional wounds. Pauly utilizes an integrated trauma-informed lens blended with evidence-based modalities including ACT, CBT, EFT, and more. Pauly specializes in working with adult individuals and couples, with several years of experience working directly with a broad range of presenting challenges including relationship challenges, PTSD & complex trauma, substance use disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more. More importantly, Pauly believes in building a safe space in which each and every one of his clients feels seen & heard. Pauly identifies as a Latino-American, and is passionate about conducting therapy utilizing a social justice & diversity-informed lens. Pauly has a strong background working with multicultural identities, and believes in the importance of recognizing our unique differences. Pauly loves staying active through basketball, tennis, volleyball, hiking, dancing, strength training, and more. Additionally, Pauly spends time actively engaging in ongoing research projects in trauma, social justice, and neuropsychology.

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I specialize in working with women in their 20s to 50s who struggle with self-worth, self-esteem, and the guilt that often comes with prioritizing themselves. Finding self-trust and the ability to feel worthy of happiness are common topics in my work. My clients tend to put off therapy because they downplay their struggles, describing their pain as ‘not that big of a deal.’ Many of them grew up in households where expressing emotions wasn’t encouraged and they are still looking for security now. My goal is to create a space where you feel completely free to be yourself—no pressure, no expectations. Therapy with me isn’t about either of us being ‘perfect’—it’s more about you feeling safe, seen, and supported as you figure things out in a way that works for you. I prioritize meaningful conversations that get to the heart of the issue, getting to the root and out of surface level conversation quickly. Going through my own therapy has given me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in the client’s seat, and it’s made me even more passionate about helping others find the support that truly works for them. My clients describe me as focused, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and down-to-earth. I truly love what I do and that comes through in my work! I’m a person-centered therapist, but I often integrate elements of Motivational Interviewing, CBT, and IFS.

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