Book Consultation
6 second kiss
  • Couples Counseling, Dating Therapy

The 6-Second Kiss Rule: Strengthening Emotional Bonds in Relationships

What Is the 6-Second Kiss Rule?

The 6-Second Kiss Rule is a concept introduced by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert. The idea is that couples should make a habit of kissing each other for at least six seconds, especially when greeting each other or saying goodbye. While six seconds may seem like a brief moment, it is long enough to create a meaningful connection that goes beyond a quick peck on the lips. This extended kiss allows couples to be present with each other, fostering intimacy and reinforcing their emotional bond.

Why Six Seconds?

The reasoning behind the six-second duration is rooted in both psychological and physiological principles. A kiss that lasts six seconds is long enough to create a moment of connection and intimacy but short enough not to feel forced or awkward. This length of time also allows the body to release oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” which helps in building trust and emotional closeness. Oxytocin plays a crucial role in creating a sense of attachment and bonding, making the 6-Second Kiss an effective tool for maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.

Benefits of the 6-Second Kiss Rule

  1. Strengthens Emotional Connection
  • Kissing for six seconds encourages couples to be fully present with each other, creating a moment of connection that strengthens their emotional bond. This practice can help to maintain and even deepen the sense of closeness and intimacy in the relationship.
  1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety
  • The act of kissing triggers the release of oxytocin, which not only promotes bonding but also helps to reduce stress and anxiety. In moments of tension or after a long day, a 6-second kiss can serve as a comforting gesture that soothes both partners.
  1. Improves Communication
  • Regularly practicing the 6-Second Kiss Rule can enhance communication between partners. This simple act of affection can serve as a non-verbal way to express love, appreciation, and commitment, helping to keep the lines of communication open and healthy.
  1. Promotes Physical Intimacy
  • Kissing is a form of physical intimacy that is often neglected in long-term relationships. The 6-Second Kiss Rule encourages couples to prioritize this aspect of their relationship, helping to maintain a healthy level of physical closeness and affection.
  1. Enhances Relationship Satisfaction
  • Small gestures of love, like the 6-Second Kiss, can have a big impact on overall relationship satisfaction. By making this a regular practice, couples can experience an increase in feelings of love, connection, and contentment within their relationship.

6 second kiss How to Incorporate the 6-Second Kiss Rule into Your Relationship

  1. Make It a Daily Habit
  • The key to reaping the benefits of the 6-Second Kiss Rule is consistency. Make it a daily habit to kiss your partner for six seconds, whether it’s when you wake up, before you leave the house, or when you reunite at the end of the day. By incorporating this small ritual into your daily routine, you’ll help to maintain a strong and loving connection.
  1. Be Present in the Moment
  • When you kiss your partner, make sure to be fully present in the moment. Avoid distractions like checking your phone or thinking about your to-do list. Instead, focus on your partner and the connection you’re creating. This mindfulness can make the kiss even more meaningful and effective.
  1. Use the Kiss as a Reset Button
  • If you and your partner have had a disagreement or are feeling disconnected, a 6-second kiss can serve as a reset button. This simple act of affection can help to diffuse tension and remind both of you of the love and connection that you share.
  1. Combine It with Other Gestures of Affection
  • While the 6-Second Kiss Rule is powerful on its own, it can be even more effective when combined with other gestures of affection, such as holding hands, giving compliments, or simply spending quality time together. By incorporating a variety of loving actions into your relationship, you’ll create a stronger, more resilient bond.

 

If you’re looking to strengthen your relationship and improve your emotional connection with your partner, try incorporating the 6-Second Kiss Rule into your daily routine. And if you need further guidance on building a loving and fulfilling relationship, Connected Brain Counseling is here to help. Contact us today for a free consultation and learn how our expert counselors can support you and your partner on your journey to a deeper connection.

  • Gottman, J. (2017). The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. This book explores the importance of emotional connection and trust in relationships, offering insights into practices like the 6-Second Kiss Rule. Read more here.
  • McKay, M., & Fanning, P. (2019). The Communication Skills Workbook: Practical Exercises for Better Relationships. This workbook includes exercises that can help couples improve their communication and emotional connection. Find out more.
  • Fisher, H. (2004). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. This book explores the biological and psychological aspects of love and attachment, providing a deeper understanding of the role of oxytocin in relationships. Discover more.

 

Recommended for you:

  • Uncategorized
Friends with Benefits Boundaries
Read More
  • Uncategorized
Self-Care Impact Counseling
Read More

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Book Your Free Consultation

Share this post:

Go Back

Counseling

Select what you’re looking for:

Specialized Therapies

Select what you’re looking for:

Brain-Based Treatments

Select what you’re looking for:

Pauly Munn, MA, LPC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician; EMDR-Trained (PhD Candidate)

Pauly is a Colorado native who received his MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Regis University, and is a current doctoral candidate for a PhD in Clinical Psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. Pauly is an empathetic counselor who believes in a compassionate, yet direct approach to therapy. Pauly believes his clients are the experts of their experience. Through a collaborative lens, clients who work with Pauly are able to gain meaningful insight into their experience which in-turn provides the essential resources for navigating change and/or healing emotional wounds. Pauly utilizes an integrated trauma-informed lens blended with evidence-based modalities including ACT, CBT, EFT, and more. Pauly specializes in working with adult individuals and couples, with several years of experience working directly with a broad range of presenting challenges including relationship challenges, PTSD & complex trauma, substance use disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more. More importantly, Pauly believes in building a safe space in which each and every one of his clients feels seen & heard. Pauly identifies as a Latino-American, and is passionate about conducting therapy utilizing a social justice & diversity-informed lens. Pauly has a strong background working with multicultural identities, and believes in the importance of recognizing our unique differences. Pauly loves staying active through basketball, tennis, volleyball, hiking, dancing, strength training, and more. Additionally, Pauly spends time actively engaging in ongoing research projects in trauma, social justice, and neuropsychology.

Pauly's Specialties

  • Depression
  • Complex Trauma
  • Couples Counseling
  • EMDR Trained
Work With Pauly

Brianna Herrera, MA, LPCC

Individual & Couples Counselor; Neurofeedback Clinician

Brianna believes in a holistic approach to counseling, integrating mind, body, and spirit in her work with clients. She strives to help clients weave the various aspects of their lives together through a collaborative approach, meeting her clients where they’re at and partnering with them to create lasting change and a greater sense of wholeness in their lives. Brianna seeks to create a grounding and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their thoughts, emotions, and experiences with freedom and authenticity. She embraces a variety of evidence-based treatment modalities to best meet her clients’ specific needs and goals, such as trauma-informed CBT, DBT, mindfulness-based techniques, solution-focused therapy, emotion-focused therapy, and humanistic approaches. In her work with couples, Brianna focuses on helping partners improve communication, strengthen their emotional connection, and navigate challenges such as conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and life transitions. She believes that life-giving, functioning relationships are foundational to a person’s sense of well-being. Brianna is certified in facilitating both SYMBIS and Prepare-Enrich couples counseling sessions. In her free time, she can often be found adventuring outside with her husband and pup, hosting a game night, or enjoying time with community.

Brianna's Specialties

  • Couples + Dating Therapy
  • Pre/Postpartum
  • Anxiety
  • Women's Issues
Work With Brianna

Sydney Focht, MA, LPC

Clinical Director & Counselor

I specialize in working with women in their 20s to 50s who struggle with self-worth, self-esteem, and the guilt that often comes with prioritizing themselves. Finding self-trust and the ability to feel worthy of happiness are common topics in my work. My clients tend to put off therapy because they downplay their struggles, describing their pain as ‘not that big of a deal.’ Many of them grew up in households where expressing emotions wasn’t encouraged and they are still looking for security now. My goal is to create a space where you feel completely free to be yourself—no pressure, no expectations. Therapy with me isn’t about either of us being ‘perfect’—it’s more about you feeling safe, seen, and supported as you figure things out in a way that works for you. I prioritize meaningful conversations that get to the heart of the issue, getting to the root and out of surface level conversation quickly. Going through my own therapy has given me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in the client’s seat, and it’s made me even more passionate about helping others find the support that truly works for them. My clients describe me as focused, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and down-to-earth. I truly love what I do and that comes through in my work! I’m a person-centered therapist, but I often integrate elements of Motivational Interviewing, CBT, and IFS.

Sydney's Specialties

  • Perfectionism
  • Eating Disorders
  • Grief/Loss
  • Women's Issues
Work With Sydney

Cassandra Keller, MA, LPCC

Neurofeedback Clinician & Counselor (EMDR-Trained)

I support adults and teens (15+) who are ready to find relief from trauma, anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck in life, career, or identity transitions. Using a compassionate, trauma-informed, and integrative approach, I help clients reconnect with themselves and move toward balance and resilience. I’m EMDR-trained and draw from person-centered, gestalt, DBT, and somatic practices. Whether we’re working with the nervous system, processing painful memories, or exploring patterns with curiosity, my goal is to create a safe, collaborative space where you feel supported, present, and empowered to grow. I especially enjoy working with athletes, creative people, students, and outdoor adventurers who value resilience, beauty, and balance. Alongside therapy and grounding practices, I also offer neurofeedback as another powerful pathway for nervous system regulation and healing. Outside the office, you’ll often find me climbing, fly fishing, running trails, foraging, or relaxing in the grass under the aspens. My love for movement, play, and nature continually inspires how I show up with clients.

Cassandra's Specialties

  • Trauma and Developmental Trauma
  • Nervous System Regulation
  • Anxiety
  • Mind-Body Connection
Work With Cassandra